LifeAdviceSite.com

As imperfect human beings, are we pre-programmed to become dissatisfied with the choices we make in life? Are we genetically predisposed to always be searching for something more, something better in another possibly greener pasture? Or is it something else? Has society predisposed us to be let down with the reality of marriage in relation to the unreal expectations set by television, movies and romance novels?

The truth probably lies somewhere in the middle. Marriage is hard work. This is something not voiced enough in popular society. In fact, some days, it's really hard work. We all want the wonderful relationship full of romance, mutual understanding and acceptance, but at times it can seem like the most elusive thing in the world. We've all met those couples who seem so much in love, and we ache for that, especially if our own relationship is on the rocks. We hear stories of people who love each other for 70 years or more, and we wonder if love should be easier than what we've encountered so far. If a relationship is meant to be, is it supposed to be so much work? In the movies, the idealized vision of romance is that of two people who meet and fall in love as the crescendo of music and their loving gaze at one another signifies the beginning of their "happily ever after". So why are our own stories filled with misery and frustration? The person we love is imperfect and infuriates and hurts us in any number of ways that can leave us feeling depressed and even angry. We all have a drive within us to create the best life possible for ourselves, and we know there must be something better. As a consequence, it can be tempting to consider finding something or someone new, to start over with a clean slate and try to find the happiness that has remained out of our grasp.

It's so easy to think that way especially when our perception is so skewed. Like the frame of a camera, we can only see what's in focus. The things that are off-camera or out of focus in the background are not visible and do not factor in to our understanding. The movie doesn't continue on to show the couple fighting over who empties the dishwasher, or where they should go on their next vacation. We may know two people who appear blissfully in love, but we do not know what they fight about when they are at home alone. We do not know what is lying under the surface of their relationship. We do not know that those things may be exactly the same things we are struggling with and hurting over.

Don't fall victim; you are not alone. Everyone has hiccups in their relationships. That's part of the human experience. What brings you closer is how you work through it, how you forgive each other, and how tightly you cling to the love you built and the vows you took. We are all imperfect human beings, so it stands to reason that our relationships would be imperfect as well. No matter who you are with, there will always be issues to work through. Just keep tilling that soil until there are no other greener pastures than yours.